Everyone goes through times when their sex drive isn’t as high as it usually is, maybe you are stressed out with work stuff, tired from taking care of the kids, or just simply not in the mood. As normal as it is to go through ‘dry spells’ you still need to make the effort to connect with your partner and keep the intimacy alive, and you don’t have to do that through having sex.
A great way to do this is through a relaxing massage. The act of helping each other to relax through touch and massage keeps the intimacy alive, gives you some time together, and could actually lead to unexpected action as all the stresses melt away.
So here it is, your crash course in how to give a great massage from the Secret Passion team:
Set the mood – candles, wine, music, and privacy. Make sure that you take the time to set the mood properly, there is no way that you will be able to enjoy yourselves or relax if the kids are running around or coming into the bedroom, or if your mobile rings etc… put some soothing music on, shut the curtains, and light some candles. Make sure that the room is warm too.
Buy the right massage oil – get a massage oil that smells good and promotes relaxation, anything with lavender is a good choice.
Use the right technique – once you have your partner where you want them, on the bed, face down is usually a good place to start, warm up some oil in your hands and:
- Start with the big muscle groups, the shoulders, neck, and back are a good place to start.
- Use your entire hand and begin kneading your partner’s shoulders. After a few minutes you can then begin to move further down the back. You should aim to grab the entire muscle, not just the skin, and really work out any knots.
- The palms of your hands, and even the knuckles and elbows, are a good way to start getting into the muscles, don’t forget to ask if the pressure is OK.
- Don’t push down too hard and never apply pressure directly to the spine, any massaging you carry out as you move down the back should be happening either side of the spine, never directly on it. Move down one side and then switch over to the other.
- The top of the buttocks form part of the lower back so don’t miss them out!
- The legs and arms can also suffer from tension and the legs in particular contain big muscle groups that can be worked on.
- Always have one hand in contact with your partner, it keeps the connection going throughout the massage.
- Use light, feathery strokes on more tender areas of the body, the sensation should be as relaxing to your partner as the kneading.
- Don’t forget to ask your partner to return the favour!
If you want to really improve your technique why not enrol on a massage course, they are popular with men as well as women, so guys, don’t be shy! Alternatively you could invest in a massager to help you apply pressure in the right way to all the right places.
